For the past few days, not being able to go on any social media outlets has been challenging. All I want to do is see what my friends are up too and how the football stud Plaid is doing. With shit in the school, it's not so pretty. I mean, yeah, it's calmed down a lot but there's still a shitty mood in the school.
But, maybe that's just me. I feel like the feeling I have is a strange mix of bitterness and regret. I feel bitter because, after being pretty good friends with Plaid, he just cut me off like that for telling him that I like him. Sorry that a gay Asian kid likes you, but you don't have to be an asshole about it. But, it's not like he wasn't flirting too. I mean, that back rub was amazing, and the selfies he sent were all cute.
However, the regret came in when I realized that I did not like him that much to start with. After being cut off from him for a week, I don't even care that much about him. But, what I miss that most is our conversations. Like, they were so much fun, and sadly that shit won't happen ever agian. Unless we become friends again, which would be a miracle in the making.
I think at this point, life is a bag of lemons. And when life gives you lemons, I don't give a fuck what you do with those lemons, just do something with them. And I need to do that right now. I can't sit here and feel sad for myself and feel this shitty feeling of bitterness and regret for telling my crush I like him.
I need to take action and feel better, because no one is going to make me feel better, rather than myself allowing me to be happy. In the end, I'm the only one in this world that can make myself happy, once I choose it. And, for me, that starts with some good old fashioned tea.
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