Life is a bunch of shit and I mean all the things I do in life is sometimes questionable, but when it comes to liking this kid (we will call him Plaid) it has been a total nightmare. The problem is that he's a hot jock on the football team and a stud muffin that looks really hot and I mean HOT as Hades. I however on the other hand, am an Asian kid that is a little too flamboyant, yet at the same time I'm just so fucking awkward. I'm very berry bad awkward, in the way that I just say shit that is not socially acceptable to the majority of the world. Plus I'm also the kinda kid that loves a ton of glitter on everything and anything.
At this point you may be thinking this sounds like a classic story of a gay boy having a crush on a straight boy...however the main problem is that we are also friends and that we have been texting each other for almost five months now. And this is where the shit gets real, when was the last time a boy sent you cute selfies and I mean selfies where each mother fucker has a damn filter on it . Yah, and that he has to work hard to look good in the photo. But being honest here, he dose not need to do shit because that boy is hot as fuck.
But it's also not only, that he flirts with you too. Like this is not your average flirting, this flirting is comparable to how peacocks flirt feathers on display 24/7. But also at the same time, this is like manly flirting like full on flirting. Why the hell does he need to flex in front of you...he doesn't but that asshole still dose it. I can not tell a lie it's hot as fuck but come on why me.
The logic just does not add up. Where I'm in school right now there is no other football kid or jock that talks to me simply because they're assholes that act like the shit in school. And secondly they want nothing to do with the gay kid in fear that they will somehow be in association with me...and the worst part of those fears is that there will be a rumor about that shit. Let's be honest here the cheerleaders know shit that I don't even know about myself.
However out of all the boys in football he's also in debate. He's not very good but, he tries and that is what matters in my eyes. But it's in that room, the room where all the flirting goes on. (I must say if you have read this far I may seem to be the one that's on crack or some other drug that helps the human mind flow of it's wonders but no it's just how I am.) But back to the room, as much as you may expect me to be a master at flirting...but I'm so sorry I can't flirt to save my life I mean the most I can do is say "Hi." But that's as good as it gets.
This stud on the other hand is like a god at the job. Ok well in my eyes he's like a pro at what he does. Such as one day giving me an amazing back rub in the middle of class, the problem the room was quite and might I say all eyes were on us. The other shit he does is that he flirts with me after school in chemistry like when I need help with shit I go get help, but are you fucking kidding me he's also in there too. God fuck the world right, he is so cute in there I mean one thing that turns me on as an Asian is to see a hot guy doing homework, and when he does homework it's hot as FUCK.
The final strange part is that the school itself is just so fortuitous, if I was walking down the hall there is that mother fucker. Or if I was walking to another class, oh look who's in a bro tank walking my way that piece of shit. The worst part is that he says "Hi" to me in like this slight flirting manner, but why the fuck is it that hard to text me...all I want to do is talk, but you can't even do that. The hell if you don't want to talk to me then don't talk to me at all. In my mind it's this strange dynamic of my brain cells and it sucks and I mean it sucks like if I was a crazy bitch on crack. But I'm already that so I guess I can't use that example.
But what I'm kinda getting at is that I have feelings. And that it's so interesting because as people I think that we all have different feelings, facets, and thinking processes that makes us tick as individuals. And as shitty for me it has been for the past 4 months, I somehow now understand my self a little more. I might only like him in the way that he is letting me understand myself. But he's also hot so that's like the other part too. I also now know that I'm a slightly shallow bitch myself, looks play role to who I like. But with all of that said I know now that probably and most likely he's not the one it's only high school and the real world is way more amazing then this prison. But oh well I'm only 16 and I need to go back to me and start living again.
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